Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I can count

I can read

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

Was Michael Jackson really an innocent person?

I actually pay taxes

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

What will help me to get a bigger butt naturally?

I don’t buy bullshit

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

What are people discussing on BookTok?

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I don’t cotton to rapists

Increased Toxicity Risk Identified For Children With ADHD, Autism - ScienceAlert

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

The Bezos-Sánchez Merger: The Ultimate Inside Guide to the Wedding of the Century - The Hollywood Reporter

I have a reading level above third grade

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

China Blasts Laser 80,000 Miles to the Moon in Broad Daylight – A First in Space History! - Indian Defence Review

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I have complete contempt for traitorism

Why do narcissists keep calling on the phone after years of separation?

I understand how hurricane paths work

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

Pacers defeat Knicks in 6 games, advance to NBA Finals to face Thunder - NBC News

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I see through liars

Forget Ray-Bans: The $399 Meta Oakley smart glasses are better in almost every way - ZDNET

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

When Kundalini is awakened accidentally, what can be done?

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

How can one justify in Sweden that total subsidies for public green energy initiatives being approximately 8.2 billion SEK per year? Electric cars at market price typically cost an average of 500,000 SEK which is above household budgets.

I have complete contempt for fakery

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I know who the president of Turkey really is

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says: